I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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