her vagine was all disorganized.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
