I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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