franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
