dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
