I'd wear matching sweaters with you
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
This house was built for laser tag.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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