I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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