you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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