Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
