She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
