put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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