Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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