i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
