I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
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I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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