Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
