My nipple is on Facebook.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
