Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
