I think I died a long time ago.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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