would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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