Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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