I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
