jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
