is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
