After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
