This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
