Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
