I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
