I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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