Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize