she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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