In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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