how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
