I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
