Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
