...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
