Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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