Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
