Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
