Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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