I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
