dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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