just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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