Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just had sex bonerless
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
