awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
nutella sex= disaster
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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