dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
