I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
