please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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