possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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