I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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