her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
