i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize