idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
