you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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