thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
