Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
