My nipple is on Facebook.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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