I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
