Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
