Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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