we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
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possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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