can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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