i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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