Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
