i may or may not be watching the land before time
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
