I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
