There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
