i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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