it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
