Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
